I’m in my office and my worker and his friend are talking about welfare and how you shouldn’t be able to buy potato chips and soda and shit while on welfare.
What. Are you joking.
Just because someone is poor does not mean they are not allowed to enjoy some simple things in life.
- Man on dating site: How often are you in town?
- Me: During the school year.
- Man: That's not long enough so we can't date.
- Me: ...okay.
I told my mom tomorrow is 4/20.
- Mom: Yeah. So?
- Me: Well, it's pot day. To get high.
- Mom: No, we aren't getting high together, sorry.
if you think your family is dysfunctional remember that zeus got a woman pregnant but she burned to death so he rescued the fetus from her ashes and sewed it into his thigh and gave birth to it himself and that fetus is now the god of wine and sexual deviancy god bless
My great aunt stabbed her husband in the stomach on their anniversary and he decided not to divorce her because he didn’t want a custody battle over the goats.
Does a snake have a body or is it literally just a really long tail?